Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. For those of us lucky enough to have someone special to share this “card store” holiday with, the pressure to come up with the perfect gift is sometimes overwhelming.
It starts with one’s friends asking what your significant other is getting you or where you are going et cetera. The pressure is then vicariously transferred to the partner as they are made to feel they must come up with something great so there will be sufficient water cooler chat the next day.
It’s been said before, but I truly believe it to be sad that there is a specific day dedicated to expressing one’s love. Doesn’t it mean more hearing it everyday and not because “Hallmark” has instructed you to do so. But I digress.
Special Valentine’s Day Dilema This Year
As our blog is about finances…here’s the monetary dilemma we face this year.
As we’ve posted before, Mr. BP and I commingle our funds. So far gone are the days of surprising one another with expensive gifts (something is lost in the sentiment of knowing you paid for half). So as we talked about Valentine’s Day and the anticipation of purchasing our first home, we were left with the feeling that big expensive gifts such as jewelry or dinner in the city would be a waste this year. Lets say you spend $300 on this one special day. Over the course of a thirty-year marriage that’s $9,000. And that’s just one holiday!
Think of how much you spend throughout the rest of the year. I am able to think of a thousand things I would rather spend the money on and so could Mr. BP. But then it hits you. You know people will ask what your plans are and inevitably react with pitiful reassurances of “that sounds like a great idea” when you explain that this year you are “making cards for each other and just staying in”.
So you have to decide. Would you rather listen to your coworkers pity you, knowing you are saving money towards your future home or would do you go for it? Spend the money and have some memories of another Valentine’s Day spent out on the town.
Conclusion
I contend that the real memories will be made in our new home, with the purchases we make with the money we save from this holiday and many more to come.
What are your Valentine’s Day plans? Any cost-saving tips for romantic gestures? We’d love to hear.
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
For Valentine’s day I am going to dinner with 5 guys– four search committee members and a job market candidate.
Works for me…I say try and get those men to swing for the bill.
Fully paid for by the department. Excellent food too.
We’ve agreed that our answer is “S/he gave me the wonderful gift of money left IN the bank.” No one says anything to us anymore, though. They’ve realized that we’ve almost entirely opted out of the obligatory gift grab days.
However, when talking to people who think you should be doing/spending, it’s all about spin. Don’t tell people “Oh, we’re just making cards for each other and staying in.” That sounds apologetic and you’re inviting people to say “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Say “We’re with people all day because of work. We’ve decided to spend a quiet, romantic evening at home. Hand-crafted cards for each other, snuggling by the fire … some quality time is the best Valentine’s Day gift we can imagine.”
Or be naughty. Grin, wink and say, “We had a WONDERFUL evening at home, and no, you’re not getting any details.”
Figure out a way to spin it so that you sound purposefully low-key and romantic, instead of apologetically cheap.
I actually went with this approach today and I have to say it was empowering. Definitely a way to take control of the conversation and not allow anyone to rain on your parade. Thanks!
As per our lifestyle and finance choices we don’t find Valentines Day to be sustainable in any way when it comes to giving gifts. We feel this is a Hallmark holiday – one that promotes needless production and consumption of goods and services.
We love each other, we spend time together and will cook a great meal together. That is what matters – not presents.
We absolutely agree. I always contend that memories of a special night will continue to bring happiness long after a necklace breaks or a fancy restaurant dinner is digested.
We don’t buy presents, we tend to also stay in and cook a great meal, we are only allowed homemade presents, so this year, hubby made me a new hiking walking stick (I got measured for it, but have not seen it yet) and I made him a wool felted neddle pointed belt.
I am still trying to figure out if I am making a black forest cake or a cherry pie for dessert, and I need to figure it out soon and get it started, either way I know I am using some of my canned sour cherries.
I love the idea of having homemade gifts. I hope Mr. BP is ready to get creative!
Well, my husband gets me flowers every year. Depending upon the size of our budget in any given year, they’re either the $5 (or probably $10 on Feb 14) from the street vendor, or a really stunning, somewhat pricey bouquet of roses. I love flowers and am at an age and a point in my life where there’s nothing I need and very little I even want, so flowers are just the ticket.
I make him and the kids heart shaped goodies. I have some heart shaped cake and muffin tins that I’ve collected over the years. This year, I made little heart shaped brownies and put them in the kids’ lunchboxes. We’ll have a double layer heart shaped cake for dessert this evening.
I think it’s nice to set a day aside and honor our love ones in a special way. It doesn’t have to cost anything. A Valentine’s e-card would be free. I don’t care if the rest of the world is doing it too – that’s part of the fun. I’ve spent enough of my life as an outsider, sometimes it feels good to fit in.
Flowers are such a beautiful representation of love. Significant others…take note. You can never go wrong with flowers (especially if you purchase them from Produce Junction where you can get a beautiful dozen of roses for about $5 that have outlasted any florist’s flowers I’ve ever received). Just a tip!
Mrs BP – even though I’ve sided with Mr BP on the last 2 “Spouse Offs” I’ve seen you guys have, I think your post above is the smartest one yet:)
Really, I think that appreciating each other doesn’t need to cost tons of money. Or, much money at all. It’s often the thoughts and actions that really count the most.
As for the looks of pity that others have, keep in mind that while they’re spending $200 on a pricey dinner and drinks, you’re saving that money for a home or other needs. They’re $200 further from retirement, you’re $200 closer – or at least closer to a goal. Again, money doesn’t equal love and appreciation for one another!
Whoo hoo! Ok, sorry, just a little excited by the support.
We actually don’t celebrate Valentines Day. We feel it is a Hallmark holiday and filled with “You must buy her jewelry for her to love you” crap. My husband gets me flowers from time to time during the year for no reason at all. He doesn’t need to just because everyone else feels obligated for their spouse/SO. We wished each other a Happy VD this morning and that’s about it. When people ask what we are doing, I tell them honestly that I have never cared about the date. If your spouse loves you and shows you year round, whether its february 14th or not, shouldn’t make one bit of difference.
Our sentiments exactly! We tell each other we love one another every day. We certainly do not need cards written by other people to express just how we feel about each other.
We have not “celebrated” valentines day by going out or buying anything. But we have always done something special (camping or just taking the whole weekend off to spend time with each other) in February. I agree with you, showing love need not be done by breaking your bank. We are trying to save for a down payment on our first home, so this year it is even more frugal and even more special.
We are in the same boat with the house thing so I think it’s awesome that you are recognizing a bigger goal and are sticking to it! Good luck!